Welcome to Shining Lakes Grove, ADF

This is the complete script from the 1997 SLG Samhain ritual, and anybody who tells you otherwise is lying. Really.

We begin with the assembled participants round the fire. LEIA (Kami Landy) is telling the story of the first Star Wars movie. LUKE (Rob Henderson) is in the audience. As LEIA finishes, one of the figures steps into the fire circle and reveals himself to be YODA (Fox).

YODA: Mmm, yes, told a very good story you have. But why sitting around outside you all are? Know what night this is do you not? Wandering through the forest Obi-Wan is. Take you to the Otherworld he will!

LUKE: (standing up) We're not afraid!

YODA: You will be.

With that, YODA leaves the circle. A few minutes later, OBI-WAN (Marae Price) wanders up to the circle, wearing a fake beard, a brown robe, and carrying a light saber.

LUKE: Obi-Wan! Why do you keep following me around anyway? I figured, once you were dead, I'd at least get a little rest... Why are you here?

OBI-WAN beckons for the crowd to follow him, and he leads them to the nemeton, where YODA awaits.

YODA: Tell you I did! Now summon your beloved ancestors you will.

LUKE: I call upon my Uncle Owen and Aunt Baru...

At this point, two masked figured dressed as Owen and Baru (Buck Shomo and Michael McClennan) come out of the forest and sit down.

LUKE: ...and I call upon my father.

Now DARTH VADER (Victor Foshion) comes dancing out of the forest and twirls to a stop in front of LUKE.

LUKE: You're not my father!

VADER: Oh, puh-LEASE. You know I'm you're father. Look within your heart, you know it to be true.

LUKE: (screams) NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

VADER sits down with the other beloved dead.

YODA: Now perform for the dead you must!

A group of Ewoks come out of the forest and begin singing that stupid song they did at the end of the original version of Jedi, but the participants throw rocks at them until they run away in terror.

The SEER (Lisa) then takes VADER's physical body (actually made of cloth and stuffed with hazel nuts), throws it into the fire, and performs the divination.

YODA: And now go you must. Too old to teach you I am. (starts waving his arms, a la Tracy Ullman) Go home! Go home!

The audience leaves the nemeton and returns to the fire circle, humming the Star Wars theme.

Questions? Comments? Please contact Rob Henderson, SLG Webmaster. All content copyright Shining Lakes Grove, ADF, or the individual author(s), all rights reserved.